Monday, August 30, 2004
SONG : SHE WILL BE LOVED.mp3aiyo. That song just keeps playing in my head..
"she will be loved.. she will be loved.. she will be loved"
Cant wait to see my ex classmates tml at school =)
"i dun mind spending everyday out on your corner in the pouring rain.."
hahaha. Just realised i cant tell stories. heez. im a happy gurl today and i wun tell u why! =X
Sunday, August 29, 2004
bitter wishesEssays are pilling up on me again. Everyweek, them teachers chuck us with essays like nobody's business. Sheesh. I need my sleep.. i need to play!
Beginnings are scary. Endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. --Sandra Bullock Hope Floats
Its almost Sept already.. Promos are about to come.. and go. In the twinkle of an eye, the beginning of next year would be thrown right at my face. Competition would come, common tests will stress and the A level's goanna kill.. How time passes so fast without me realizing. There's far too little time for me to enjoy these 2 years in school.. sigh. no time no time. There are people i wanna know, more faces i wanna see and places i wanna go.
Love is like a butterfly, hold it too tight, it'll crush, hold it too loose, it'll fly --Unknown
Thats life isnt it? At least life for a student. You wake up and study and eat and sleep. The best kind of education is one that dun focus on the damn piece of paper. Sheesh. The best kind of education does not include pw of course. But there's nothing i can do anyway..
Life is certainly more than this. =)
But then again, you grow up and get subjected to more lies and deceit and competition and whatsoever in the working world, in society. Woah. Life never seems to get better. The innocence of a child is to be appreciated.
Child: "daddy dad! you come home already! yayy! come play with meee!"
Father: "Its 9 already! I need to rush my proposal and get sleep! I need to work for
money and pay for this condo! (obviously irritated)
Child: "buut.. daad.. i miss yuu.."
Father: "I need to work and pay for the house! Dont you want the swimming pool to play in?!"
Child: "buut.. God gave us the sea.."
Yeah. the simplicity of a child, the innocence felt deeply in midst of the corrupted world. Heard this in church today.. Got to learn to appreciate that. But than again, without this corrputed world, how are we going to appreciate the finer things in Life?\
I'll always have God to lean on and when i look at the beach and narrow path im walking on, I'll only see one pair-- and thats the pair I'm riding on.
Saturday, August 28, 2004
a million people..Met up with xintian to study in school today! We were suppose to meet at 10am.. haha. But both of us were so very late. Sheesh. i finished my sm essay in 4h. Talk about productivity.. Xt left me at 3 plus and i ended up doing work myself.. haha. There were like old rj boys playing soccer in the netball court! and yikl was there! Qiao huhz. Went to orchard later to meet him and saw wy(3times!!) and ivan.. bLeahz. Satuarday nights, what do you expect.. oh! I went window shopping and saw this really cute shirt at Topshop that said "Ping Pong" on it.. damn cute! haha. i loved the skirt too! lalala.. Think i'll go and bathe now.. hot and sticky and dirty! yuckx.
yix!! u shld be in sch too =)
haha. I just reached home! Met up with danielle andrew desmond and mark to help do up the banner for publicity! yeah. After like so much slacking arnd tampines mall, we finally made our way to st.h to paint! haha. I din think it was so fun! We ended up painting each other after awhile and desmond was still laughing at how mark was the unconcious victim! hahahahah. funny! bLeahz. andrew seemed sad. cheer up!! everyone has their sad days.. Anyway, the worse thing was we got locked in the cmpd. we wanted to climb but there was like cameras all over? haha.
Thursday, August 26, 2004
suddenly felt a little down. i wonder why. haiz. pms pms pms. duno la. wadever okie.FINALLY
My comp is finally back on track! but suddenly i dun find much meaning to go online. arghz. Like im spending wasted time here.. oh well. We had our LAST training of the term!! Goanna miss training like mad man. Might jus jio ym or yix or ojx to play! ya, last training.. and jianhong was horribly saboed by the guys. They pinned him on the grnd and applied camo all over his face body and legs... yucks.. yes, yucks! haha. and he was trying so so so hard to hide from everyone! ( oh, did he blend in with the hall..) hahaha.. damn funny.. yu shld just see it for yourselves!
hee. and my phone rang during math lect tdy.. aRghz. my ringtone? twinkle twinkle little star.
and mojo!!! this is for u!! hahaha. love u lots!!! =) i might be just ditching u tml.. may not go shopping with yu guys!! i know u'll miss me.. hahaha! =)
heyz. and its like the 6th time!!! many many times.. lalalalala. tired.. yawn.. sleepy.
Sunday, August 22, 2004
Ym is writing..haha..my com has been down for like i dunno how many days..sheesh. i still need it urgently for pw..Pw sucks..yup haha..bet everyone agrees with me.
lalalalala..i dreamt of you twice again..yah twice..arrr getting irritated already..lalalalala
anyway i did like two essays and one application question and my maths tutorial during this week..hahaha very guai right..(No.. by ym).. im like left buried under my books without my com..haha i miss it..but i did more meaningful things without it cos i dint waste my time online. Instead of having impersonal conversation with multiple ppl online, i ended up chatting on the phone :) Guess its much more personal that way..yup!
Wednesday, August 18, 2004
I Wrote a poem for you.Arghz! Ronald.s lost! hmz.. Guess ruihao was like how disappointed.. haha. just read from the newspaper that Li JiaWei's his girlfriend.. and that he dedicated his last victory to her. How cool. Been long since i last had a good chat with ruihao on sms.. he misses the class. Guess professional badminton is like sucking up lots of his time.. but at least he's doing something he really loves.. (Maybe jeffrey's gone to swim cos swimming is his life) We decided to like jio the class to watch Alien and predator.. got a slight feeling that the movie idea will be abandoned soon. Sigh. And i found out we are on the same boat.. haha. You are never alone.. Its almost 12 now and i haven studied my geog test. This is so wrong..
chocolates are happy stuffs.
no impetus
sheesh. the comp hanged and i lost everything i wrote just now.
i dreamt of yu again!! dreamt of you having this really poser name.. why am i dreaming of you. makes no sense at all. Arghz. why you why you. and dreamt of the ugly name one(no offence!)dreamt of all sorts of pple arnd sch.. bLahz. got a geog test tml.. and i have like the infiltration chapt and the overlandflow chapt to go? dun think i'll finish studying today. sorta lost the impetus to study.. what is happening man. must rmbr wad wy said.. focus. yeah. anyway, jeffrey left today.. din see him off but he sends his regards to his class! yup! i shall go try to study now
Tuesday, August 17, 2004
LauGhter`Laughter's a damn good medicine. For a split second, you suddenly become oblivious to all -- to your work, to your surroundings, to practically everything! At times when you laugh too much, you lose track of what you are actually laughing about and get tickled by the slightest things. fun.
Went to coffee club with yix and ojx! (ojx treated! thank you!! =) ) haha. yix laughed so hard that she like coughed out the water she was drinking on my face, my bag, my shirt and the table behind us! hahaha. and we started laughing for like 10min after that *SmiLE* hahahahhahah. stress reliever.. we ate like blueberry cheese cake and muddy mud pie! sheesh, damn nice =) *dreaming of chocolate buffet now*
jeffrey's leaving tml! hope he takes caREs.. haha.
interesting fact: tzehui's "jealous" of me and tzu!! hahahahhaha..
Sunday, August 15, 2004
haha. went church.had chocolates for lunch
growing fatter.
went swimming
than pw meeting
studied!
woah. im bored.
tian's boreder.
Friday, August 13, 2004
Wooohooo. haha! arts fac rocks.. we won floorball! And they were joking that its our first gold.. which i actually found it quite true.. bLeahz. great sense of satisfaction! yeah. lay and jud's defence is solid! lynette's g.keeping is zai! and bena and camy our dearest top scorers! hahaha. the pro people were damn nice too.. kept encouraging us to press on..Went for topless 5 at Swensen with like a quarter of my class today! can u believe it? $1.39 for 5 scoops of icecream? haha. Sinful! but ah well. ate it all up anyway.. cabbed to queensway to shop for sherms court shoes.. couldnt find nuts..
lalalala. i wanna fly high!! i shall fly!
Thursday, August 12, 2004
way coolIFG for tabletennis was today! and aRts fac had like almost no one? ah well. The games were kinda messy though. but still managable! haha. stupid. Got bullied by people i didn't know because they were confusing me by changing the scores!!! evil doers.. whoops. hahaha. lalalala
Went out with ojx and some of his classmates(wonder! yihua.. oliva~ kohzy`) to the airport to send the France people off. haha. at first abit weird ahz.. coz for one thing, I'm not in their class.. and another thing i don't know them! But hey, they are nice people! and really fun too! oliv!! u owe me chocolate buffet!! cant run away. dun run away. hahaha *evil* the french people were way cool. love the way they greet each other!! did that with some of the french people. way cool. =) yeah. even though i merely met them for an hour. i think i kinda miss them already! i might just never ever see them again. aRghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh...
the night is getting a little late.
and its time for me to go take break
but something is raging from within
it echoes "somehow.. somewhere.. something.."
Wednesday, August 11, 2004
hamsters dun bite la silly.quirky dream. twice in a row already! *aRghz*
floorball rocks. lost to engine, but ah well. =)
hahahaha.. tired tired tired after tdy's floorball!
tired = rest = byebye
Tuesday, August 10, 2004
that was quite an unexpected conversation. nv expected to call!! haha. but nvm, ended up ma lu-ing myself! aRghz.duno wads happening. empty la, jus empty. u know, i know. i can dun reply too! not that i dun wan.. but like i duno. yeah. i know. dun even know wads up for it. blahz. there are times i duno wad im typing. this is the time u duno wad im typing.
thoughts: de words and de actions dun match
another grp piC =)
haha. theyre pointing to angie coz of yq~~~!!! hahahha
us in our room!!
the guys singing!
yeah. thats my ex class.. there are a few people missing! ha. i wonder why..
Monday, August 09, 2004
ohhh yaaa.. just needed to add one more thing.. mayjean said smth along the line whereby although being numb helps u continue with ya life, u cant live life to the fullest coz u arent experiencing ya emotions FULLY.. hMz. food for thought.im burning a big hole
Gosh! its like 350am already! just came hme from a ex class gathering! went to marina for steamboat.. it wasnt that interactive there AT FIRST coz the guys had their own tables and the girls had one. haha, but we had our own fun too! it got better towards the end. Loitered for an hour b4 deciding to head for kboX and pool at parkway! Sheesh. i din want to go at first! i cant play pool due to reasons that shldnt be memtioned.. my dinner cost me 12 bucks! the cab fare and kbox will just burn this terribly big hole in my pocket! aRghz, but i went anyway! quite fun =) haha. and im like losing my voice coz of all the shouting and singing.. =) i miss them! aRghz.
haha. walked to the marina mrt and talked to kenneth on the way. his life is like *wah*. im amazed at the incidents he went through and the "things" he wants. not an easy task dude. but i honestly think u can do it, just DUN change ya mind after that. haa, i think u'll never ever read this.. but thankz for listening me out too! yeah. had a great time catching up wid joyce and dora and angeline and not forgetting yeowmay! haha. poor angie. manda shld have came
yeah. cabbed hme with the soon, ws, jo. and they were how mean to me! at first, they REFUSED to let me alight b4 jo! its safety guys.. Safety. haha. i bet if i were another girl they had just met in JC, they would have gladly offered to even see her up, right to her doorstep! Cant be helped la. been classmates with them for 4 years already! they're like brothers, like family!
hMz, school is different now without them. i guess these 4 years wid them have really been a terribly memorable one.. from the auditions and concerts we joined, to the teachers we bullied, the achievements we got and friendships forged.. i'll always remember them. yeah. but my friends now rox too! horhor jud mojo sher tian? and my class too! 1a03b!! hahaha. we haave how much fun doing silly retarded things like stalking pple and talking crap?!?! =0 haahahaha..
Sat jiale's motorbike today! it was like damn fun la.. this is such an understatement. haha. love it when we're speeding along the express way beyond the road limit.. love the feeling of the wind blowing across and on my face.. love the excitment there! ya, i know its dangerous and everything, but it brings a kind of satisfaction that like sitting cars cant give.. you kinda get all sweaty and everything coz of the big heavy bulky and smth ugly helmet! but still, i enjoy it!!!! hahahahaha.. =)
spidey2
yeah. gg out with grace angie soon! shopping.. and then wid my ex classmates for marina for steamboat! yummy. haha. national day steamboat dinner's followed by fireworks are so becoming a routine for us! yesterday's fireworks were a m a z i n g. cant get enough of it!
"love should never be kept a secret. if you keep something as completed as love inside, you're going to fall sick." -spidey2
Sunday, August 08, 2004
love is beyond our controlEhz, te perception that "love is beyond our control" is common, smth almost pervading the mindsets of everyone. For those that dont think this way, we share the same sentiments. Maybe because its "beyond our control" thats why people always say they are "madly in love with him/her!" madly appears to be kinda out of control huhz. For me, its a choice of whether WE want our emotions to get the better of us, to rule and to control us. I choose to let my mind rule.
Talked to wy last night! Yup! told him bout it. Yup, talked bout my focus and what i want and everything. yEAh. Since i already know what i want, i should work towards it and dont let anything else affect me. i guess i did go of focus for awhile.. but hey, im back on track le. thankz wy! =P
anyway, i went swimming with my small bro at safra. haha. love the sun just softly shinning on my skin! love the beach even more. have to go there soon.. but with who. hmz. oh. im like currently taking a break le. yup!
Friday, August 06, 2004
national day celebrations!we had national day celebrations in sch tdy! well, it wasnt exactly a celebration coz i hardly heard like national day music playing or whatsoever.. hmz, maybe they did play, only i was slacking in the canteen wid jianhong kemmy and ben FINDING a date for team outing! arghz, its tentatively set on sunday! haha. Sheesh, but im not going coz my family's celebrating my bro's 21st birthday! So anyone who knows him, *ahem* u know that u'll have to buy him a present!! hahaha. Ehz, national day was fun coz of other reasons that shld not be mentioned. haha =) bLahz. National day seems to be losing its purpose and meaning.. but the band was like cool.
Yup! cabbed to town after the national day celebrations (its amazing that i stayed in sch throughout the celebrations) and watched "the notebook" by nich sparks.. its touching! well, almost all his books are touching.. and slightly predictable. haha, i knOW mayjean TEARED a few times.. =P yeah. i saw like 10000million pple at town today.. ehz, tried ZARA clothes! and i loved them! esp that botton.. and that top! =) aHz, shld i go shopping tml? bLeahz. So... who wants to go shopping with me????? haha. met my mum on my way hme and kinda told her a simplified version of wad has happened, and is happening to me! aRghz.. wonder if i shld have done that. hmz.. oh well, whats done is done.. so no pt harbouring on it yeah.
anyway, we talked yesterday. hmz.. din go too good.. wonders..
haha, slacked arnd with yixiang! yeah. than took piCtureS! hahaha.
Wednesday, August 04, 2004
trnghad training tdy and coach came.. yeah, finally after a really long time due to rj's lack of funds.. ran 4 rounds wid ojx and sat at the track starring into the sky.. saw this bugs bunny figure in the clouds, kinda distorted, but still recognizable!! cute! (shyt, think i spelt that wrongly, but ah well.) training was kinda sian.. haha, but i had fun like joking arnd with yiX and donal bout his hahahha. whoops, i guess i was talking a little too loudy huhz. oh well. then we had this ping pong ball fight.. quite fun la =) aRghz, guess theres nth else. and ya! no happy baby tdy! hmz.. kinda tiREd now, im like tired everyday!
anyway, rj girl's polo got SECOND! lost to tj by ONE goal. i know its disappointing, but congrates to XiNtian!!! yeah.
"if we choose to stay closed, if we choose to stay guarded we will live unspoken lives.our pain and our past and our stories will stay hidden. like a talent for music or for painting that is stifled, we will never know the effect that the gift of our secrets mmight have had on the world." - the sculptors by susanne glass
Tuesday, August 03, 2004
this is for u.its amazing how my mood changes, just a-mazing. i can be like really sad and stone and tired and than cheerful and psyched up the next!! its SO sudden. too sudden for me. im tired of being like that, havng stuffs at the back of my head bugging me, nudging on my conscience to call, to urge me to get my life back on track.
i wanna be happy and i will! coz i choose my path and i choose what kinda play i wanna act in! i wanna be in a happy one, full of joy and laughter.. i will call coz it shldnt be like that, nop, it shouldnt be this way. dun like it this waY. but why must it be me? that day, i think it was too harsh. or is it just me?? ya. maybe its me.. how im like.. i do put myself in the shoes too.. and ya, i'll prob just react de same way. i dunoe.
ya, i mean i tht this wun happen again, that teaRs wun fall..
i tried to stop thinking but hey.. i realized you just dun stop thinking about something just coz u dun wish to think about it. sheesh, im rambling now and i guess only the people closest to me will understand. seriously, i dunno how to go on. like i duno? this has dragged much too long.. im tired. ya. honestly, simply. aRghz. dun feel like doing anithing.. no, i feel like sleeping..
HapPy bAby
Sheesh. Woke up late this morning and ended up skipping the assembly talk.. slacked at gim moh macs instead wid rais!
Xintian! thankz for the letter! haha, a pleasent surprise =) really like what u wrote inside.. and polo comp tml yeah?? jia you!
i wish you joy...not the superficial surface joy that comes from obtaining something material..but a real joy.
A feeling of accomplishment by something simple yet important like a making a decision and sticking to it.
Or deciding to get the courage to do something you've never done before.
The reward of doing one little thing that you've always wanted to and just watching how it affects everything you do for the better.
I wish you the understanding of your hearts desires so you can begin to find your contentment and settle for nothing less because you being is not afraid to fail and because you have erased that fear you will soar to the highest hights.
And most of all i wish you love.
Not that love that you think is love, but know deep down in your heart is not, kinda love but that love that gives you power, to know that you love yourself too much to let anyone hurt you...... Self love, that shines so bright, that without even knowing it, everyone is in love with you.
I wish you that one person you can call and cry with, laugh with, scream at, and get screamed on, because there is nothing that you can't say to each other.
But most of all, if for some reason all of those things mentioned fall apart; i wish you the self confidence, belief and faith, to know that this is not the end but only the beginning of beautiful life, that YOU control the direction, the plot, the outcome, and the conclusion.
Around this time i want you to know that life is good because the sun fell across your face this morning and you are walking on a path of miracles...............
Open your heart and recieve it.
~Alicia Keys~
Life is good coz the sun fell across my face this morning.. haha, got to learn how to appreciate the early morning and the light breeze that goes along with it.. i mean, everyone is usually too preoccupied with their life; busy rushing to work (and sch!!) and busy meeting datelines.. yea. life should be good, it should be fun! but shldnt forget that there's a time for everything!
Took sherm's dad's car today.. and after taking 50 shots with my cam phone, we finally got some pretty decent shots and not forgetting some very retarded pictures! haha. shall post them here soon, after i figure out why i can no longer send the photos to my email.. but before we left rj.. there was like "happy baby!" haha. sherm! u know wad im talking bout! but for those who dont, hahahahaha. =X
my wife and i just decided the design for our tabletennis shirt! for the front theres this "RAFFLES" drawn by me! and at the back will be the words "Just Whack. Tabletennis'04" drawn by my wife! hope it turns out greAt.. then, there was this corny idea strongly supported by jianhong.. it goes along the line... " We play............................... tabletennis......" aiyah. this just cant be described here.. it sounds too wrong.. =X
anyway, it rained today morning.. but i didn't get to hear the raindrops in my bed, under my covers.. yearning for a false sense of security? just like Marner's mechanical repetition of weaving perhapes.. sheesh. literature really gets stuck in my brain sometimes..
having a pretty serious conversation now.. pray that things will turn out well.. aRghz. i know things will turn out well.. yeah. it will.
and oh btW!! happy birthday yeowmay!! happy biRthday twin!!!
Sunday, August 01, 2004
RainI am lifting this off Xintian's and judith's blog.
Think about them one at a time BEFORE going on to the next one... IT DOES MAKE YOU FEEL GOOD, especially the thought at the end.
1. Falling in love.
2. Laughing so hard your face hurts.
3. A hot shower.
4. No lines at the supermarket
5. A special glance.
6. Getting mail
7. Taking a drive on a pretty road.
8. Hearing your favorite song on the radio.
9. Lying in bed listening to the rain outside.
10. Hot towels fresh out of the dryer.
11. Chocolate milkshake. (or vanilla or strawberry!)
12. A bubble bath.
13. Giggling.
14. A good conversation.
15. The beach
16. Finding a 20 dollar bill in your coat from last winter.
17. Laughing at yourself.
i wonder where did 18 go..
19. Midnight phone calls that last for hours.
20. Running through sprinklers.
21. Laughing for absolutely no reason at all.
22. Having someone tell you that you're beautiful.
23. Laughing at an inside joke.
24. Friends.
25. Accidentally overhearing someone say something nice about you.
26. Waking up and realizing you still have a few hours left to sleep.
27. Your first kiss (either the very first or with a new partner).
28. Making new friends or spending time with old ones.
29. Playing with a new puppy.
30. Having someone play with your hair.
31. Sweet dreams.
32. Hot chocolate.
33. Road trips with friends.
34. Swinging on swings.
35. Making eye contact with a cute stranger.
36. Making chocolate chip cookies. (that's shortbread for me)
37. Having your friends send you homemade cookies.
38. Holding hands with someone you care about.
39. Running into an old friend and realizing that some things (good or bad) never change.
40. Watching the expression on someone's face as they open a much desired present from you. 41. Watching the sunrise.
42. Getting out of bed every morning and being grateful for another beautiful day.
43. Knowing that somebody misses you.
44. Getting a hug from someone you care about deeply.
45. Knowing you've done the right thing, no matter what other people think.
i sat infront my my comp for 6h doing one chapter of Silas Marner. Thats really long. Maybe this only reflects my state of mind now - confused which explains why i took so long to figure my meagre handwriting, or stoned maybe. I'm kind of pissed with myself for like making my life so messy... Things could have been simplier... I wish the sky would rain now. i wish it would rain for me.
" Rain insulates sound and it makes me feel very muffled in my own world, thinking about my own things and just being alone for a while, in my mind at least. Thunderstorms make me feel a false sense of security and comfort because I am nice and cosy and warm under the shelter and even better, under my sweater/coat/jacket. The cold wind whips my face and teases my hair but I'll be warm under all those layers, just makes me feel so comforted. Not forgetting, it makes me sleepy, all bundled up like a baby" Copied this from judith's blog.
yeah. how i wish it would rain how.. how i wish that i could snuggle in my blanket and drift to my own world away incomfort from reality for awhile, at least for now, at least for awhile. i'll proberbly log off now, to bury myself in work, or perhapes a book.
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\Kimberly Nah JiNPiNg /Raffles jc.. /20may 1987
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