my life.

Sunday, July 22, 2007

i told myself i'll blog here often for all my time in sg but i din, again. i dun think i will too coz somethings just cant be said too truthfully coz the truth hurts.

been back for a 5weeks now and its been one hell of these 5 weeks. i think if andrew wasnt in the hospital now, i'l call him out for supper..

my second week was just like 3 weeks ago but it seems so far now. drew's still surviving in the hospital and i pray that God will do whats best. i think ive never been that bitter and angry before, blaming everything and everyone. and just not letting go at all. i thank God it was only for that day- yu duno but it felt terrible. but i dun anymore. call it growing up or whatever coz sometimes when things happen, yu cant just blame circumstances for it. i mean i still do sometimes, who doesnt. i miss andrew nowww. is my best guy friend. not always there.. but someone who wun judge and will always support me no matter how and no matter what. i think everyoone do miss him.. esp jasmine. so i pray to God that he'll her strength to carry on.. and i pray that God will just take away the mean people around her. i do respect her, i really do. his accident taught me not to take things for granted and to speak up, to tell people ur feelings coz yu'll never know what might happen the next day. i miss drew.. and that big wide smile of his. :(

work started for me already. well not quite work coz im still an officer on course gg for agc which doesnt really require much effort. but still its a 730 to 1730 thing and its really taking a toll on me. i cant be my self in and out. its also been really tiring trying to juggle work and social life.. and its esp impt now coz i only have like 2mths bac home, which doesnt really count anymore since im going tamworth and china which leaves me about 2 more weeks at most. i miss my friends here, i really do. but theres always this limiting time factor and workload. going thru the motion of work makes me feel like an adult, makes me wanna settle down. they say its the 1/5 life crisis. i say its growing up. and i think ive grown up, well at least learnt the ropes of an adult. and yu know what- i dun like it at all. not at all. and whats worse is that i know how everything works now but my mindset will change when i go back to uk living my laid back life, something i know i'll cherish when i get back. so i decided im going to conquer the world next academic year- and this time i mean it.

"i think this year has really been a year that ive grown up the most" <- what gillian said and what i agree. its been our most eventful year, possibly the most depressing one as well. i wan to go back to the laid back life coz i miss doing nth but i dun wanna lose my mentality. but now that im back in sg, i dun wanna go back to uk coz here's where all my friends are :(

think its been a emotionally taxing one too. the first letting loose was i guess the kbox thing during VA where we drank. i thank God for my friends. oh and i learnt about faith too. about having lots and lots of it. and yu shldnt steal hope from pple coz that might the only thing they have left in this world

loads of things i need to get straight here. my emotional state, my thoughts, my decisions, and esp my walk w God.

i think this has been my most honest post ever.

nana - nana - ja ne- @ 9:19 PM |

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\Kimberly Nah JiNPiNg /Raffles jc.. /20may 1987